Emotional intelligence – the road to success
You may wonder what else is needed to be successful? At the university or later in the working life. You learn everything, you prepare for the exams, you consult the professional materials, you try to collect many useful information, knowledge that help you to obtain the degree and then to build a career.
But what else you may need in addition to these knowledge-based skills?
To connect people, to be attuned to the teachers, your boss, your colleagues; to express yourself, to promote your interests.
This is what is known as emotional intelligence, that helps us to make aware our own feelings and the feelings of the people around us and facilitate our decisions and acts.
The emotional intelligence is linked to the self-respect, self-assertion, happiness, health, success, progress in work.
The higher your emotional intelligence is, higher position and higher salary you can reach.
You can make more conscious decisions, and it will be easier to bear if a decision does not prove to be appropriate, your frustration tolerance will increase.
There are two major types of emotional intelligence, the personality-based and the ability-based emotional intelligence:
The personality-based emotional intelligence refers to the perception about ourselves, the evaluation of our emotions and the handling of the emotional based situations. It plays a bigger role in our decisions.
The ability-based emotional intelligence includes the following (Schlegel et al, 2018):
- The ability of recognising the emotions in yourselves and in others;
- The ability to use your emotions to enhance performance;
- The ability to interpret the relations between emotions and situations;
- The ability to control your own and others’ emotions.
How can you develop this ability?
Start to observe your own feelings. How the things affect you? What kind of feeling appears in different situations? It is important to make you aware of them and name them. Thus, you will know in majority what kind of feelings appear in you, how do you react in different situations. Live these feelings and observe how they affect you. If you start to consciously observe your feelings, you will be more sensitive to them and you will be able to handle them. For example, if a situation would cause tension, you will know that you have to concentrate to it, you may handle the thoughts causing tension and thereby your emotions will be less intensive and you will be able to better focus on the solution of the situation.
Pay attention to the other people. You will notice the appearance of the different emotions. How does you mate react if he gets a bad grade? Obviously, he will be sad, disappointed, maybe angry. If you notice it, it will be easier to react. If you actively pay attention during a conversation, the other party will feel that he is important for you. If you listen to him, sympathize with him, you provide an emotional support with the help of which his former negative emotion goes away. As well as helping others, you can advance easier in your studies and work by paying attention to the feelings of the other party. Much is depending on the current emotional state of your teacher, your boss. It is useful to practice how to detect this state. If you make yourself aware of what is happening, you can work out a strategy, how to communicate in a given situation. With the help of this you will be one step ahead of your mates, colleagues who do not pay attention of it.
First it may seem difficult to concentrate on our emotions, but do not be discouraged it, with a little practice you will handle it. The conscious living of the given moment helps a lot. Block out every other thoughts of your head (e.g. what should I eat for lunch, when will my bus leave, etc.). Concentrate on what is happening right now and how it affects you. If other thoughts do not reserve your capacities, you can concentrate on what is happening in the others. It is important to be open, ask the other people with interest. They will appreciate that you are interested. And you, besides that it makes you and the others feel good, develop your emotional intelligence, by which you will be more successful in the university and in the workplace as well.
Bibliography:
Fuller B. (2023.01.14). IQ helyett EQ – Hogyan hat szakmai sikereinkre az érzelmi intelligenciánk? [előadás] Önfejlesztő akadémia: Találd meg az utad! online konferencia, https://onfejlesztoakademia.hu/talald-meg-az-utad-konferencia
Schlegel, K., Mehu, M., van Peer, J. M., Scherer, K. R. (2018). Sense and sensibility: The role of cognitive and emotional intelligence in negotiation. Journal of Research in Personality, 74, 6-15.
Tóth N. (2018.02.01). Érzelmi intelligencia – a sikeres karrier kulcsa? Letöltés dátuma: 2023.02.02., forrás: Mindset Pszichológia: https://mindsetpszichologia.hu/erzelmi-intelligencia-a-sikeres-karrier-kulcsa